And The Mists Increased

covering the mountains

and the forests

and then suddenly

the weather changed

from sun to rain

and it has caused this weight

inside me

that is difficult to bear

is it my heart

is it my body

is it my mind

I wonder

what do I

carry with me

but my life

and my memories

and the dullness of the weather

is a curse

how it causes me to sink

like a boat

how difficult it is

to stay afloat

and life is like some

whirlpool of pain

drawing me in

and then I think of children

how they take this

and I tell myself

the same way I took it

and became what I am

and the skies I feel are frozen

in my mouth

and the Earth I think is falling

beneath my feet making me fall too

and I feel everyone who lived before me

and will live after me in my body

as I tumble in the air

before I reach the final lair

where death puts its crown on me

and of all the sorrow I am finally free.

There Is Laughter All Around

reminding me of my childhood

and butterflies in Bombay

yellow ones I would try to catch

as a boy between my fingers

and I would release them soon

I couldn’t bear to hold back

those lovely flitting beauties

and they would leave this

yellow powder mark on

my thumb and forefinger 

and flutter on

and the jujube tree

was also there next to my house

and I would throw stones

at the fruit hanging

and they would fall to the ground

and I would pick them up

and eat them and the ripe

yellow ones were so tasty

their soft flesh the juice on

my tongue so sweet

and the old yellow Edwardian buildings

we lived in had arches

that could shelter the darkness

and my childhood was the magic

of the colour yellow

of the sun in the sky

of the egg I ate

before I went to school

while I realised that I myself

was an egg grown

wearing a yellow tie

in the yellow house

and the universe

danced before me

like fire that was also yellow

and I danced around it

and we were so happy

we held each other and cried.

The Cloud In The Sky

is a clown

so entertaining

big and white

and floating all over

in laughter

and the monkeys

are once again

on the prowl

scaring my

neighbour’s chickens

as the ladies

shoo them away

and then I chase them

from my terrace too

and the weather

is getting cold

and the mountains

are covered in mist

and the green forests

are drenched in beauty

and some leaves are turning red

and I met my old neighbour

after months

I was seeing him

once he fell

outside my house

and I gave him a glass of water

and now we shook hands

and we were very pleased

to see each other

and I asked him

if he was going to the mosque

and he said he was going

to the Panchayat

while I waited with a boy

and our empty gas cylinders

at the top of the road

and as I looked down the street

I saw the old man go

and down below

there was a little girl

so happy

prancing about

and waving at me.

And When Sadness

descended on you

its tears nearly drowned you

and you knew

the taste of unhappiness

on your tongue

it was tasteless

but it was so strong

it broke your heart

and now you cry everyday

see how the world

will not leave you

how it will climb

onto your back

and make you carry it

and you are falling

your mind

has shattered into shards

of wild disarray

and memories flip

through you

like photographs

in an album

and you are drifting free

for the first time

you have seen the world

of the dead and kissed its head

its face and its hands

knowing one day

you will become it

and your heart bleeds

and those drops of blood

will only lead you to yourself

and you will hold

your broken heart

in your hands and die.

And Sadness Is A Crow

cawing

inside you

you think

you understand

being ravaged

only if your eyes

could see your mind

being torn apart

and inside your body

you feel like your blood

is turning to water

alas nothing seems

to assuage the trauma

and the world outside

is there

the mountains the forests

watching you

but they don’t know

what you are going through

and now everything

appears grey to you

like an apparition

and streets come flooding

into your mind

memory becomes a ghost

a constant companion

your only friend

you hold on to it

for life

and soon it becomes the moon

and it is telling you stories

from your life

turning its pages

and its light

shines on your face

and finally you smile.

And The Sun Blasts The World Golden

though pain is your partner

all through

and tears are your testimony to life

how the world exists is a wonder

how it looks so wonderful and I ask

why are we chosen to endure unhappiness

and I can see the separation

I can see no understanding

and so the world becomes a lie to you

a phantasm you don’t believe in

you feel you are living outside the circle of life

like a vulture you have death on your mind

and what do you see through your eyes people or ghosts

you don’t know all is black you are on this Earth

spinning in the universe floating free is it life

you ask you don’t know you are drifting

into peaceful pieces of yourself and see yourself go

into the emptiness of space

your final element where you will rest forever

and neither ghosts nor humans will haunt you.

And The Sea In Bombay

was telling me something

while I found the mountains

of Kumily to be good listeners

calm and peaceful and big both are

and the day suddenly changes from mist

to sunlight and one lovely bulbul arrives

on my terrace and begins eating the dry leaves

and whistling and singing and it is so beautiful

and soon it is joined by another and the light in

the blue sky warms me and the big white clouds watch

in admiration and the other bulbul hops on my terrace wall

and sings too and then they fly together singing and now other birds sing

in the town there were people some of them I knew some of them I spoke to

and I am excited at the connection I am electricity I am song and dance and speech

and I am so happy I am liberated and orange flowering trees greet me and welcome me

into their fold the forest echoes brother you are us and we are you and the air that we breathe

is so pure like a parent someone who created us and you can feel the Earth beneath your feet

it is your mother and she has so much love for you you have found your home and you are so fortunate

you feel love inside your body like your flesh giving you warmth and the care you never expected

well this is the sun shining this is your father and it is his light with which your eyes see.

Two Green Parrots

fly to the yellow top

of a tree

I rise from my armchair

on the terrace

there is mist everywhere

early in the morning

in my compound

it is there waiting

like a guest to be let in

and only in one small rectangle

among the three mountains ahead

is there sunlight

and there is this weight

pulling me down

my neighbours talk aloud

and laugh

and the birds chirp

and I feel like

I am coming from war

conflict that has ravaged me

left me broken

and my mind does not move

it doesn’t sway

it’s forgotten the dance

in that old café

full of golden light and posters

of movie stars

and I think of the sea there

silver in the dark night

the waves rocking

and the sound mesmerises me

and at last I recognise it

I am now at the point

of my origin

staring at it churning

and I am lost

in such a beautiful way

I am found

round and around

and the pigeons there flutter

from the building tops

into the sky

and fly over the water

and disappear.

The Mist Is All Over

this morning

it has come to tell us

our lives also move slowly

like it

and that it

is the transition

from life to death

and I watch in wonder

and feel somehow

very calmed

elemental

I look into the trees

their leaves turning red

and I see myself dead

the meaning has come

to a head

and hit home

or you may say all time

is moving through you

like a ghost

with practised ease

and you finally

see the comedy

of the whole thing

and you laugh

and your voice echoes

in the universe

like free verse

and now you don’t care

what you are

man animal or jar

you know you have

the most precious thing

better than any gold

or diamond ring

and that is nothing.

20000 Demons Go Screeching By

jumping and dancing

in the dark

and the sound shreds

my mind

the sight is pure evil

I close my eyes

and then open them

and they are there

going past

and it seems to me

that I have lost my body

I can’t find my mind either

and I don’t know what I am

only that I am there somewhere

in the picture

beyond that nothing

the sky keeps all these secrets from us

and the demons hoot and howl

and on and on they go

as I find myself in a ship

that hits rocky waters

and I am thrown across

the capsizing vessel

into the sea

and I am falling

shrieking in the darkness

and I strangely become

those 20000 demons

wildly screaming

and life is pitch blackness

consuming me

that I am fighting

and then I am suddenly

the fire in the sky.