and my blood is stuck
I go out of this world
I eat nothingness
I piss absence
and my body is invisible
I have merged
with the atmosphere
gone into the sky
blended
with the darkening blues
the night begins
to forget
and the moon
comes out shining
and the stars sparkle
deep in the blackness.
in my head
and rats crawl out
and escape
down the street
then snakes
start slithering out
going down my body
onto the road
and then children
run out and as they hit
the ground they turn to ash
blown away by the wind
and now I walk
howling in horror
at what is happening
and animals tumble
out of me and
I cry and blood flows
from my eyes
as I run helpless
and burst
into nothing.
with these trees
in the forest
and it is so cool
my eyes are mountains
my body the sky
and all these birds
singing are within me
making me so ecstatic
I dance and the cosmos
sways with me
like a lover
and so entwined
we transcend
ourselves
with a kiss
and what can
I tell you
it is such bliss.
and it is beautiful
and then it goes silent
and calls again
and the black monkey
hoo hoos in the trees
as the women here talk
and I feel like
a yellow butterfly
winging my way
over the greenery
and I can hear
the wind whisper
to me
Dominic the Earth
is our mother
and within her
we will all sleep
forever
and I fly in joy
singing O how much
fun it is to be alive
and the people
chorus O yes it is
and begin to jive.
in this bird chirp
in this sunlight
our hearts beat
in harmony
though all this
is such a matter
of chance
and in the long run
you say what the heck
it doesn’t matter
if you’re living or dead
because so many
did not get here at all
in the first place
and so what
do you make of life
so mysterious
so haunting.
our lives short
the universe is long
but meaningless
and all the beauty
the pain
is really nothing
everything will go
so we must be kind
to each other
we must say sorry.
and let a tiger
eat me
it seems so beautiful
such a royal way
to die
and I will call
the animal to me
with a smile
on my face
and give up
my body
with love.
the solace of greenery
of the air we breathe
the Earth beneath
our feet
and some time ago
I saw the big furry tail
of a giant Malabar squirrel
in the trees
and the morning is now
so friendly like a kiss
I am happy and the birds
are happier
how they sing
high up there
their voices
coming together
so beautifully like love.
in the real world
out there
evil walks around
blood dripping
from its mouth
and people
fight everywhere
the cacophony
makes us mad
and folks run
into vehicles
jump off balconies
and the sight
is enough to drive
the rest of us
completely crazy
and we walk
into the sea
drowning ourselves.
when I will be free
of worries
of all the pain in my heart
and I will just leave this world
for oblivion forever
and melt in the bliss
of eternity
of emptiness
after so much horror
so much life that has
entered my blood
like poison
and will kill me now.
Dominic Alapat 