in my heart
I cannot smile
the world has stolen
my joys
and left sorrow
in their place
what do I do
I wonder
to regain my old life
my merriment
and I realise
that they have
gone forever
so now I keep
plodding along
in the sun
my bag of misery
on my back.
my head
my arms
my legs
and my torso
are separating
from my body
and running away
in terror
this is what
my life has
come to
and the world too
is shattering
the planet
crumbles
into powder
the oceans
disappear
from the Earth
and all
living beings die
we are now ghosts
howling without voices
in the darkness.
and my ghost
is writing
this poem
full of pain
all the sorrows
of my life
all the horror
I went through
on this Earth
are over
now I’m free
from everything
but still
the memories
of my misfortunes
linger in my mind
and I try to get
rid of them here
it makes me feel
better and better
till one day I will
be happy and able
to smile and laugh.
with madness and anger
my eyes explode
and I scream
and shout
expletives
till I lose my voice
now I can’t see
or speak
and my body
starts burning
till I melt
into a puddle
of bubbling flesh
on the floor.
when I close my eyes
I see in my mind
that I’m being attacked
with knives
and when I open them
life dreary life
with all its problems
offers itself to me
this leaves me no choice
so I yearn for death
I tell it please come
please come and
take me away.
has caused my eyes
to fall out of their sockets.
I cannot see anymore.
The horror of life
has paralysed my tongue.
I cannot speak anymore.
The horror of life
has burst my eardrums.
I cannot hear anymore.
But the horror of life
has spared my hands.
So I can type
and write without fear
that the world is so evil
that it is best to get out
of it as fast as you can
because if you don’t
life will slowly become hell
and in excruciating agony
you will burn to ashes.
as I scream in terror
wild animals
tear my flesh
off my body
and eat it
and people
hit my head
with hammers
my thoughts now
are blobs of blood
and the world
is shrinking
crushing my bones
oceans empty
over land
and everyone
is drowning
and I am relieved
to be gone
from this life.
in my body
the air I breathe
is full of sorrow
I don’t know
what will happen
to me tomorrow
there’s so much
uncertainty
the things
I am sure of
are my incurable
illnesses
they will be my
constant companions
hurting my body
and mind
reminding me
of my mortality
slowly digging
my grave
until they stop
and tell me
now come Dominic
get inside
it’s time to go.
from my life
and sadness
has taken
its place
I am drowning
in misery
as joy moves
further
and further away
I see greyness
around me
the colour
of sorrow
it is in
the water
I drink
and the food
I eat
so I look up
at the birds
flying and
wish I could
be as free
as them
winging
across the sky
in peace.
how you go on
day after day
and how we
carry along
with you
our lives
will end
one day
as meaninglessly
as they began
you make us sad
to leave this Earth
and our loved ones
you are such
a colossal joke
so painful
so heartbreaking
I dream of the day
the universe
will end
and along with it
all of us
can die in peace
and there will be
no more people
and no more sorrow.
