So Now The Day Is Well

and the sun

is in the sky

shining brightly

smiling

and the blue of the sky

is so beautiful

light and deep

at places

I have not seen

any painting

this gorgeous

and I think that the sky

is happy

with itself

and with the world

and today

I can hear it speak

its blue language

its magical music

of the mother suckling

her children

at her breast

and the milk that we drink

is the cool white milk

of the clouds

pure and refreshing

and then I see the darkness

between the trees

of various shapes

and I see they are

living beings like us

big black transcendent

creatures of the earth

breathing and I can see

the smiles on their faces

they too are happy

because their

mothers are trees

green and soft and beautiful

and they too are suckling at their

mother’s breasts

and are happy children

of the world

and the earth

is the mother of everything

we know on this planet

and on her we all sleep

at night when she

suckles at the milk

of the universe

which is her mother

and we know how happy

she is then and how freely she floats

without any support

and how we feel our own hearts

grow free

and every dusk our wings unfurl

and we fly like birds to our sky mummy

who gathers us in her arms in joy

kisses us

and puts us to sleep

another night

on this earth.

And The End

of the universe

is what I’m

thinking about

such is nature

and we are

part of it

one day there

won’t be anything

like death that takes life

lives that you love

so painful it must me

for my mother

in the hospital

I think

so weak she is now

asking for water

in this low voice

in the video my sister

sent me

and I cry

when I think

she will be no more

someone who gave

birth to me

someone who

bred me

someone who

loved me

will go

and she is in such agony

in such misery

wailing

I cannot bear it

and I think of the universe

its darkness its depths

that will take her

and I wipe the tear

from my eye

I am not ready to bid

her goodbye

but I’ll have no choice

I tell myself

with death

what can we do

and I think

of the black universe again

and see my mother

as a shining star.

Now The World Is Green And Cool

and parrots look so beautiful

flying in a formation of six to eight

and their half-toot half-screech

is so exciting to hear

and how they look

like helicopters

turning into the trees

and yesterday evening

I saw such a beautiful bird

fly slowly in the forest

it was big and orange black

against the deep green trees

and the mountains

and the blue sky above

with those big white clouds

moving like they do here

in Kumily and recently

in Claus Garden I saw

a really gorgeous butterfly

black at the edges yellow inside

flit about like magic

and then we saw

two giant Malabar squirrels together

Claus Omana and I

we were sitting on the bench

in the garden

and one was smaller than the other

but both looked fabulous together

and Claus took some pictures

of them

and from my terrace

when I look at 10th Mile Road

in the far distance

it is a painting in mist

its hazy-coloured blue mountain ridges

flowing like a mirage in the sky

and the head of the hill behind me

in the Periyar Tiger Reserve

that has been watching everything

for so many hundreds of years

is still entranced by all

that it sees

and I keep looking at it

at its deep in trance

old brown head

and to my utter surprise

it asks me isn’t it beautiful?

And The Sun

blasts earth

with its light

showing its might

and the birds chirp in joy

though inside me there is sadness

and pain like waves washes over

my heart torn apart

the world is divided into misery

and more misery

and reality is all powerful

only death will be able

to bridge this gap

and the crying that it brings

is despair blowing wildly

in the air

while in the body

the mind takes refuge

and you can hear it

hear what it is saying

you can feel the trauma

you are lying down in bed

and you’re saying you’ll fall

and the heart beats in fear

when you feel the end is near

you want death

to get on its legs

and run away

you’re saying

I’ll die I’ll die

and you cry

and you call

for you daughter

you call

for the doctor

you call

for water

and what can I do mother

what can I do

what can I do to death

although I’d like to stop it

it will come it will come

I think as I massage

your body and my mind

grows heavy

and I am sad.

The Sun Shines

so brightly on the mountains

and the birds are chirping

so happily

the nights are beautiful

black and deep

and the trees talk so softly

among themselves

you can’t hear them

and everything in the blue sky smiles

the big white clouds slowly moving

like magic

and the mountains are so green

so beautifully shaped and big

you can’t hear them either

though they talk

through their mass

to each other

and they are all signs of peace

they send their greetings

and then there is the mist

that moves across them

they too are saying something

which we can’t hear

but we know because their words

get imprinted in our minds somehow

and you can read them silently

as they make sounds of quietness

soothing in your head like still water

life is transient they say

take care

have a good time

be at peace

and always look at us

from life to death

from death to life

see how we flow with such ease

because we know that everything

is on lease

so good luck

with yourself

they say

and they keep moving

in that slow pace

across the mountain face.

Darkness And Light

alternate in the day today

and mist moves

all over the green mountains

sometimes rain sometimes sun

fill our lives as I go about filling water

in my tank and my neighbour’s chickens

cluck about picking food from my property

but now finally I am at liberty

to write and fight the demons in my mind

and when the birds chirp I think they are so kind

because it makes my heart freely fly across the sky

and that reminds me of the other evening

when I saw the moon partly hidden in the clouds and

I couldn’t tell if it was full or half and that puzzlement

made me laugh and then a few days before that

when I went to Kattappana I saw everywhere

jackfruit hanging in bunches and everything was green

but my mind was troubled and I felt the world was mean

and now once again it has begun to rain and soon everything

has darkened and brought with it a kind of pain

like when I walk tired along an empty street

and life in my mouth tastes bittersweet.

This Cold Day

has frozen my thoughts

while I look at this boy

from the neighbourhood

run up and down the street

happily singing in Tamil

and that makes me smile

freeing my locked mind

soon the rain begins to fall

and it strangely sounds like words

while from my head emerges birds

winging and singing in glee

and the rain tells me

see how I set you free

and I sing thank you

for liberating me

and then the birds

and the words

merge into one

and suddenly I realise

it’s so much fun

when the rain stops

and out comes the sun

and still the words flow

as the breezes blow

and still the music plays

in the sun’s rays.

Now Too Much Sleep

has made my head heavy

and my thoughts are slow

like the lightly drizzling rain

and the soft sound it makes

then the leaves of the trees

gently dance

as my mind mingles with water

and begins to prance

like a cat in a playful mood

while the world outside is green

and the neighbourhood looks clean

and soon the drizzling stops

and there is silence all around

which makes me close my eyes

in peace and in my mind I see

the round earth circling the sun

and I feel so much joy to find things run

I open my eyes and say what fun!

Mountains And Mist

cardamom plantations

and trees

I see along the winding road

to Kattappana

and I find that inside me

my emotions too

move exactly like the mist

I can’t catch those thoughts

the same way

one can’t catch the mist

my emotions keep

passing me by

without me being able to

figure them out

like this gloomy monsoon day

my thoughts are lonely

and lost

disconnected  and emerging

randomly

and when I return home

it begins to rain

and then my emotions

are all a blur and I can’t

figure them out at all

and as it rains harder

it makes me feel like a sad clown

when all my thoughts begin to drown.

Now In The Evening

the women chat leisurely

the light in the sky is beautiful

and the quietness is very soothing

the birds chirp softly adding

to the mood and I am at peace

with myself and I imagine I’m sailing

smoothly in a boat in calm waters

into the dusk

and I feel relaxed beyond measure

my body at ease listening to the music

of the wind blowing

and now the women laugh as they talk

and the men wish each other good evening

and join in the laughter

and the setting sun

is such a beautiful orange

its smile so sweet it’s saying let’s meet

and gladdened to my gills

I row my boat towards it

while I hear poetry beyond

any language in my ears

with such beautiful sounds

I have never heard

and the sun dipping in the water

now opens its arms to me

and says welcome Dominic welcome

and my boat now becomes part of my body

and my body transcends itself as I feel

the sun’s warmth when it embraces me

like a father taking his son home.