How The Heart Cries

for human suffering

it is so bad

the misfortunes

I feel eyes

watching me

all the time

my mind

is disturbed

but there is

only myself and my pain

and the suffering

is such I feel

I wish I could be a bird

but the horrors

become a mountain

they flay me

as I stand fighting

I will die

when I will

I shout

and then

I hear the birds tweet wildly

and Bombay explodes in rain

the dark city dances like a ghost

I go quiet and watch

the unhappiness begin to wash away

until my body and mind are silent as a tomb

and I feel the cosy comfort of the womb

O cradle of civilization rock me now rock me now in this rain

and thank you thank you so much for stealing away my pain.

In The High Green Hills Of Kasol

the sheep are led

down the wet street

my mind is a spring

by the Parvati river

how it gushes and rushes

down the rocks

as I am

whooshed

into a thousand bleating

mountain goats

led by this little shepherdess

in medieval red

how sweet

her beautiful girl face

under her cap

and I go down the grey road

leading high up

where the mountain peaks in May are still capped in snow

and as the sun comes out you see them glow

and O I am this high Himachali wooden house

looking out my dark eye windows

my roofhead of beautiful black slate sleeping in rectangles

until that black dog in Tosh takes me

down to the waterfall

and I fall down the earth path that is steep

and I sit on a rock and I weep

and as the water forces me open

I become all sound crying

Guruji I shout tears streaming down my face

and the high Himalayan snow-capped mountaintops smile

Shakespeare I cry aloud

and the white peaks dazzle like diamonds

then a bird begins to sing its sweet long note

teeee tee teeee teeeee tee tee

tee tee too too tooooo

tee tee

just like jazz

when I find

the dog asleep

behind me

and as I turn

the sparkling hills are starting to fly

Jimmy Jimmy

I say

thank you for your help

as we shout

Jai Bholenath.

Sometimes

in the darkness at night there’s a movie in the sky

it’s always too good it’ll make you cry

as your life in trains and rooms go by.

 

Sometimes you’re in a train in the afternoon passing by

and the sea is so beautiful it’ll make you cry

and at night the stars come out to dance

and the moon climbs high.

 

Sometimes you’re at home all high and dry

and you’re doing some work by and by

and you see the birds fly slowly in the sky

and you look and look and quietly sigh.

 

Sometimes you’re at home sleeping at five

and you go sliding down your bed into the sea

and you wake up with the sound of your own cry.

 

Sometimes you’re on the street walking when you almost fly

and sometimes you’re bewildered that everything is a lie

hold your breath for a while that it might pass by.

 

Sometimes it’s best not to pry

and let things quietly lie

Sometimes it’s too much my oh my!

 

 

The above poem is from my third book The Branches (2015).

The Wild Mind

keeps rolling

through the world

of white buildings

and all that variety

which the moon

now will soon shine on

how beautiful

how calm

and how sad

all this is

and last night the flat above mine

got flooded

I was collecting water

in three buckets

and swabbing the floor

from the leakage

and then there is all this delight

and anxiety in the afternoon sun

the colour of burnished gold

the colour of memory

the colour of poetry

the colour of song

the colour of sadness

the colour of death

while the sky paints itself

into such a stillness

I awaken into such quiet bliss

I have never felt before

here you go partner

for all that

the train seems to say

awakening me aloud

with its horn

once again

and the small brown sparrows chirp

sweet whistles of melody

a black crow cancels out

cawing in an arc

I sigh and sigh

until a recurring image of the sea

comes by

and somehow tempts me

to try

a breakfast of eggs and bread

to clear the confusion in my head

go on go on

the waves seem to say

it’s a nice way

to begin your day.

 

The above poem is from my third book The Branches (2015).

Disappointment

has been playing its guitar

in my head

just when I think it’s gone silent

it starts again

its low whine

making my mind follow it

on and on

like a dog.

 

The above poem is from my second collection Circling the Sky (2013).

I Realise There Is More

emotional turmoil in me now

and that has made my mind burst

in a world of memories

real and imaginary

now I look at the sky

and see a golden sparrow

in the bright blue

I hear song

such liquid voices

thrum through the universe

there’s this lovely rhythm

and soon I’m beginning to live

in a small way

I hold on to it

I start and keep going

see there are all these fruit trees

to climb

all these cassettes

what are they

I ask

and then I tell myself

see there are these kites in the sky

in the evening

that come and sit in the pit

of your stomach

this feeling of having ended

closed like a book

sold

and then there is

this release once again

into the skies

this self-forgetfulness

when you become the kite

and calmly fly fly fly

over all that you’ve seen

the world your life spread out below you

like nothing

like absolutely nothing

and now it is once again

happiness open unrestricted happiness

joy joy joy joy joy

and as far as your eye can see

light that warms your heart

making it sing like a bird

soaring into the skies

songs of the universe dancing

but your mind just won’t stay this way for long

unknowing in these heavens of bliss

these coos of cloud comfort

it goes to sleep

and when you wake

you are once again

in your old yellow room

in bed next to your grey cupboard

and there is so much talk

in your head

it is all just too much

too much I tell myself

too much for your poor head to bear

your heart to utter

see how it leaves your mind’s tongue twisted

tied and tired

how your ears ache

go away wild voices

I say

and begin complaining

and cursing

crushed crazy.

 

The above poem is from my third collection The Branches (2015).

Now Once Again

my heart has found

some hope

some happiness

outside the world

is strolling

with the sunlight

the trees sway

the buildings smile

and the train

slowly rocks

on the tracks

blowing its horn

I breathe freely

I smell the world

I cuddle it

I make love

to it

and it loves

me right back

the sun shines

the windows dazzle

I dance in joy

I am like a toy

I spin

I win

I stop

I hop

I act like a top

I rise high

into the blue sky

and freely fly

singing a lullaby

bye bye baby world

you are so sweet

tomorrow again we will meet

right by this same street

and as I climb higher

my heart catches fire

and my body bursts in desire

O bye bye baby world

you are so sweet

tomorrow again we will meet.