the universe
go bouncing by
and break up
into nothing
our lives are
meaningless
in the long run
though we
are built
so intricately
we hurt
we do good
and to us
it seems
as though
our minds
and hearts
mean something
like they are
bigger than us
but the whole world
will be destroyed
there’ll be
nothing left
and then we realise
that our lives
are a fantasy
the cosmos itself
an apparition
we see disappear
with us
with our own eyes.
the mind disappears into the void
faster
the body follows later
the universe vanishes
and that’s it
finally nothing prevails
emptiness dances
its death dance
ghosts howling
in silence
and memories
of multitudes
crawl invisible
all that was there
has gone somewhere
and here is the chatter
of zeros
and these are the heroes
of the cosmos finished
you cannot see
anything now
there is no reality
there is no fantasy
this is the end
the space after
the full stop
till the closing
of time
when its hands
fall off.
to be transparent
I want it to be weightless
I want it to be free
I want it to be me
or a bumble bee
I want it to be happy
I want it to be the key
to the wisdom tree
I want it actually
to be greater than me
I want it without any fee
if anyone asks for money
I’ll say go take a pee
I want everyone to see
something at which
they’ll say whee
what good fun gee
and become a baby
crawling across the levee
after which there is tea
and a shining red ruby
while you catch
a flying yellow Frisbee
that is how
I want my mind to be
shining brightly
floating lightly
writing my poetry
touching tenderly
till someone
says lovely.
it is today
the forests and mountains
are sparkling green
the birds are chirping
and the whole mood
outside is of childhood
and wonder and magic
and just as I am thinking this
I can hear my gate opening
and who comes to meet me
but Phantom and I see following
him is his white horse
whose mane is like silk
and suddenly it takes off
into the sky
and I am again surprised to see after it
Superman now flying past
and Spiderman climbing the houses
and the trees and I laugh in joy beyond imagination
and as the mountains are echoing with laughter
there is Batmobile at my gate and Batman is inside it
and Phantom and I now get into the car
and we drive off into the mountains of Kumily
and there are these huge yellow butterflies
the size of people and Batman Phantom and I laugh
and then the three of us start singing
in such happiness Cinderella appears out of nowhere
and following her are Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
and there is also Tintin under a tree waving
and Tarzan howls as he flies across the forest
hanging on to nature’s hand
and Suppandi has his meal of mangoes
and I suddenly find that I am a rainbow
and the music in my ears is the silence
of yellow tables and there is this book
with a telephone dial in it which I am dialling
and I am then in paradise and yellow chicks
greet me with their happy cries and I can understand
what they are saying isn’t it great Dominic they ask
isn’t life the greatest thing in the world and behind them
are so many other animals and slowly I find the shadows
of humans moving like mist and my heart now is open I have seen
the light and here’s a big hug to everyone come let me hold you tight.
is before me now
its canopy of trees
pure green joy
and the mountains beyond
in a weightless trance ask
now what do you think
of the sky
what lovely light blue it is
and the big white clouds
like cotton slowly moving
like smoke
and the sky full of light
such freshness
such innocence
like childhood
like birds chirping
such beautiful melodies
evoking magic kingdoms
where I ruled as Emperor
and the butterflies were
my friends and we listened
to that lovely music in the air
and were happy
and then the silence
the depth of it
the purity
at the heart of the world
and I was relaxed and relieved
till I grew wings
and took flight
those were the powers I had
and I soared into the sky like a kite
I was so happy the wind in my hair
and joyous to be alive
in the blue vault and explore it so freely
without any weight
without anything in my mind
and at that time I found
magical properties in the air
magical properties in myself
and I flew all the way through the sky
till I came upon a sea
of the bluest blue and into it
I dived and the water was such
it not only soothed my body
not only did it give me
that relaxed feeling
it took my mind in its element too
and my mind floated
on the water like magic
and I could feel the wetness
and soon I was able to
recognise the trees
the beautiful green canopy
of Kumily and now I walked
out of the forest like a man
and I was no more surprised
at any of the forms I had
merged with the earth
I knelt before it and said
mother mother who gave me
this magic world here I return
after my journey my great adventures
to sleep at your breast like a baby
O mother take your child.
in the forest
is silent
in green
and it has been
raining
making it cold
but there are
such games that
are so wild
you thunder across
the earth
like a dinosaur
and this town
is a series of rolling hills
where the trees dance
and the birds sing
and through my window
I encounter the world
so radiant the sky like freedom
its light growing
and a strong breeze blows
and the leaves flutter
and the birds chirp and squawk
till there is silence
that is haunting
it seems like we have been
given so much of the world
to hold in us
we can see the earth
before our eyes turn
and there is
the forest the spice farms
the wind and once again the rain
so beautiful it sounds as it rises and falls
and you are in the lap of Gulliver
you are this enchanted creature of fantasy
and flesh and heart and mind
and when you find
how your thoughts flow peacefully together
you are overjoyed
and you run down the giant’s body
back to mother earth
and lay down on her and cry
mummy mummy you say
as your sobs wrack you
thank you for your love.
from my terrace
of the green mountains
and forests
and today the sky
above is blue
and white clouds
washed like cotton
withered
are spread out
in lines of white
through which
you can see
the blue sky
and the cocks crow
in the golden sunshine
and I remember
those evenings
in the garden
behind my school
in Bombay
I remember the buildings
their lit windows
at night
and I know that
in this much time
this memory
has become paradise
in which music plays
in my ears
and many years ago
me and my friend
Merumandar got inside
this rocket that was
in that garden
and drank whisky
and the rocket
took us to the moon
as we howled in happiness
all this I can see and hear clearly
across the years
in this silence
here in Kumily
how peaceful
the mountains are
how relaxed they feel here
and slowly that conical mountain I see
seems like a rocket pointing
to the blue vault up high
and I smile
and yesterday in the evening
I saw these deep green parrots
winging across the sky
their lush beauty
so delightful
and a giant Malabar squirrel
slowly appeared
in the leaves
it was so gorgeous
it excited me
so much
it set me free
I became a bird
and flew into a tree
and now I fly across the sky
and I can see
emerald green mountain
after mountain smiling
and deep blue
and green rivers snaking
in glee
it looks so lovely
I say whee.
here are so musical
and beautiful
they chirp
they whistle
they call they hoot
they tweet
and today I saw
a brown black butterfly
fluttering near my house
it was gorgeous its colours
shone in the sunlight
and it occurred to me yesterday
in the evening that somewhere
behind me in the forest
tigers were killing animals
as prey and eating them
and elephants roamed freely
where I am now once upon a time
my maid told me she and her husband
cleared the forest and built their house here
and there is this huge log of wood the trunk of a tree
they cut before us today as the valley slopes into the street below
and the first time I came to Kumily
the first time I came to this town
its curving main street its spice shops
entranced me with their charm
and then too I saw the forest at night
the dark tree canopy its prehistoric power
pulsing in the earth I felt drawn to the jungle
its animals wakening my heart my mind
and in Bombay I would stare at the buildings at night
their lit windows and I would imagine the whole city to be
a ship sailing in the ocean and at times in my house there
I would be strangely surrounded by Kumily’s mountains and valleys
and now I have half a sack of spice to sell in this town’s spice shops
from my property as I sit here writing this I see how the city sailed all the way here
so that I could enjoy good weather and hear the birds chirp and I look at the silent forest around me
and I realise how its trees like wise old giants meditating in a trance and its mountains carrying silence
like a mother its baby in its womb drew me to her breast and I know now how sweet that quietness
tastes on my tongue how it has liberated me from myself how I have finally been transformed into a bird and set free.
there is sky
and ahead the past
is a fading picture
the green mountains
are beautiful and happy
they stand in a trance
as the birds chirp
in the sunlight
my neighbour laughs
so loudly and so much
I am reminded of happiness
and a white cow grazes
on the forest floor
and Claus told me
Shahul’s son saw
some tiger cubs
and a tigress
in the forest
where he had gone
to bring back
his cow
and I think of
a shining deep blue peacock
with its bright green circles
its beauty and its grace
and I think how nice
it would be to have one
strutting across my property
also a nice brown deer
with white spots so lovely
so wonderful its face its eyes
so pretty I would like to have too
looking on in innocence and wonder
and Claus goes past on his bike
and shouts hello and I shout back
hello too and Aravind is exercising
he is running up and down the stairs
of his nearly built new house he is also
hanging upside down from the terrace
and calls out hello to me as he passes by
and I think of my own childhood when I was Emperor
and owned vast lakes across which I sped by in my speedboat
or rode my black stallion across my open green plains and endless mountains
and now as the breeze blows I find I have grown wings and am flying in the sky and a black and white bird flies close to me and says hi.
are here fluttering
to make you happy
about the golden sunlight
and the chirping birds
what lovely music they make
so long entertaining us with
their calls their whistles
and that causes the day
to stand still and ponder
where it is
and it is so nice to see
these mountains green
and round and sharp
and dense with trees
and even nicer
is the silence you hear
mountain beyond mountain
meditating this morning
making the air so sweet
my mood is now all flight
liberated given wings
and as I take off
into the blue sky
with big white clouds
sailing in it I see
a swarm of monkeys
invade my property
they close in and I now
realise that they might
climb my coconut tree
and steal a coconut
and break it on my terrace
and drink the water
and spill it over the parapet
and throw the husk all over
my courtyard so I dive back
to the world shouting
go go go go go go go
until the entire band
of monkeys is chased away
and I return back
to my armchair on the terrace
where I was seated
and feel the winds blow
like magic transporting me
to strange places where I feel
the sun glowing in my heart
and I breathe the mystery
of the universe in and out of me
like air and my eyes become
kaleidoscopic colour cameras
scanning my mind its hidden
thoughts flowering
like moving mist
and the sky skates
on my tongue till I am thirsty
and take a sip of water to drink
and decide I’ve had enough to think
it was time that from myself I unlink
that there was no need to stretch it to the brink
and that too much of all this might cause the whole thing to sink.
Dominic Alapat 