you need to live
life is not a bed
of roses
someone
told me once
and now I know
it is a bed of thorns
and you are nothing
more than an animal
or a ghost
you simply do not matter
and then nothing makes sense
you find
when the puzzle slowly solves
itself in your mind
and you look at death
in the face
and laugh in transcending
ecstasy
filling up this universe.
with thoughts
like bombs dropping
from a plane
and I flinch
from the noise
inside my head
the screaming
the dying children
make me burn
and turn ashen
like a ghost
and now I run
as fast as I can
as the explosions
continue
till I am hit
so many times
I fall
on the ground
and die.
by your older sister
is to feel your penis
and testicles rot
and fall off
to be sexually abused
by your older sister
is to lose the air
in your lungs
and gasp for breath
stumbling and falling
and fighting for life
to be sexually abused
by your older sister
is to sense
the ground give way
and sink into darkness
so absolute
your mind shatters
turning you into
a ghost desperately
attempting to disappear
from this world
to be sexually abused
by your older sister
is like getting nuked
nothing remains
just these sad words
trying to reach you.
had streets
and demons
prowled on it
and I was there too
and I fought
these ogres
till I found
that I was
a ghost
and then
I howled
and ran
down the roads
I ate vehicles
and kicked
buildings
but nothing worked
so now I live
in this gutter
and to myself
I mutter.
I have been locked
out of life
there is so much silence
I know I have never
been here
and I feel like a ghost
all the time
and my thoughts
disappear
from my mind
and now I know
I am nothing
as I vanish
like everything
that was there.
does all sorts
of things
and forgets them
because it isn’t real
yesterday there was
such a breeze blowing
so beautiful
my head fell off
and I died
and then I just
crossed over
to the other side
so now all is illusion
and magic
the joyful
and the tragic.
it has been tightened
like a screw
it has been bullied
it has been shamed
for no reason
it has been made
to weep
and I am so lost
I simply cannot
find myself
anymore
I think I am
somewhere
at the bottom
of the Earth
which I won’t
be able
to reach ever
and I feel
like a ghost
doomed
with nowhere
to go
till the end
of time.
I feel fangs
tearing me
from inside
I have been
dead for long
and I am just
my ghost
that escaped
somehow
but then
there are demons
still chasing me
and today
they have got
into me
and although
I’m a wraith
I feel pain
and that of
so many others
so terribly sad
I howl
in wild sorrow
and my wail
echoes all over
the universe
burning into ash.
like an earthquake
why does the rain
feel like poison
and why are the streets
running away from me
like they were scared
like I was a ghost
and this leaves me
with nowhere to go
and the people
cannot hear my cries
making me go mad
as I grow old and die.
in my mouth
and I am soon sad
and broken hearted
I feel like
I have been poisoned
and dangerous toxins
have entered my blood
and are flowing through
my veins
and I fall on the ground
and cry at the horror
that life is
and the sky burns
and drops down in ashes
over the planet
leaving everyone dead
and the universe
disappears like a ghost.
Dominic Alapat 